Three Things I Should Hate and Yet Am Secretly In Love With

We all have things in our lives we would rather not admit to liking.  Sometimes these things are small (i.e. you don't want to admit to liking brussel sprouts, even though they are awesome) and sometimes they are capable of ruining your life if discovered (i.e. your fetish for breast milk or addiction to Steven Seagal/panda  porn).  

         "TAKE IF OFF NICCCCCCCE AND SLOW.  JUST LIKE THAT BABY..." 


Well, I am here to confess my sins.  While I am not as cool as say, The Fonz, I would consider myself to be a decently tolerable and fun person. Oh no wait, that's right, I'm pretty awesome.  If you disagree, we'll go ahead and discuss it after I buy you another shot of tequila.

                 

                           NO, NO I AM NOT AFRAID TO BUY YOUR LOVE.


Yet there are things in pop culture that I am obsessed with that have the potential to ruin my standing as The Most Awesome Person You Have Ever Met (by the way, if I am, you REALLY need to get out more).So here are three of my pop culture sins, all laid out on the table.  I see myself losing friends quickly over some of these.

1. YOU BET YOUR ASS I HAVE BIEBER FEVER.  

Whoa.  Out of the gates with the big guns.  This little man boy gets me moving and shakin my hips like a white girl at a Vanilla Ice concert 

     "SUP GIRL..."

I am ashamed to confess that I THOUGHT I hated Justi-licious for months and months until I actually figured out what he sang.  I haven't watched MTV in about 10 years so I never had a name/face association going on.  I just knew that everyone my age hated the little Terd that got famous through YouTube and I didn't ask questions.  Never again will I be such a sheep.  Never. Again.

"LET'S BLOW THIS HOTDOG STAND."

Thankfully, God granted me a second chance at a decent life and one day I learned that said Terd sang THIS....

 

WHOA. 

There is nothing about every note of that song that doesn't make me want to get up and dance my ass off.  He's like a miniature Beatle thrown into a blender with a side of Ludacris and a dash of Holy Shit Spice.

I'm fully aware that song will be in your head all day now.  You're welcome.  

2. TEXTING 

While I'm thinking about this, let's pose the question: Is it I "text" my best friend last night or I "texted" my best friend last night?  My gut says "text", but my group can never decide.  

Anywho, this is another one of those habits I hate admitting I love.  My generation is neatly sandwiched in between the generation who still types with one finger and the generation who comes out of their mommy's belly button hole with both an umbilical and a USB chord attached.  

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY...

Here's my deal; While I love talking to anyone and everyone I meet, I am not a big phone talker.  There are only two people I can be on the phone with for an extended period of time.  One is my mother and the other is my friend who loves to debate everything from the meaning of life to why he thinks a Zaxby's salad is like the Second Coming of Chirst. 

 

 

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD.

Anywho, aside from those two, I really am not a big phone person.  That's why texting is AWESOME.  I can get my point across quickly and effortlessly and not get tied up in the "how was your day?" nonsense.  Plus, there is the added benefit that if you get something sweet or funny, you can reread it over and over again and relive the magic feeling it gave you the first time.  

 

 

MORE ROMANTIC THAN SHAKESPERE.

3.) SCI-FI CHANNEL MOVIES (ESPECIALLY with GENETICALLY MUTATED ANIMALS.)

This is one people wouldn't expect.  I am an avid movie-goer, and find myself reviewing movies for friends and family members because I am normally the first one to the threatres.  This is bound to change once people read this and discover that these....

...are not only movies I have seen, they are movies I have seen multiple times, and they are AWESOME. This love for these B grade movies actually began with my Jurassic Park obsession.  I learned just how awesome man eating animals were and the fact is...Hollywood just doesn't make enough movies like that.  

 

"CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN?"

Let's get serious here; you can't honestly tell me you can watch this Sharktopus trailer and NOT want more:

Sex? Giant Monsters? Bad music? It's like a Michael Bay movie made on a McDonald's fry cook salary.  (Assuming they have salaries.)

 

There is only one thing I would like to see made into a movie and here it is; 

 

 

THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY HOW AWESOME THIS MOVIE WOULD BE.